So, since the start of COVID, I’ve been getting more and more paranoid, anxious and worried, just like anyone else. Obviously it’s contributing to my mental health problems more. I’ve been having more bad dreams / nightmares recently, and I’ve been writing them down in my “dream journal”… I’ll write down a recent bad dream I had regarding the Coronavirus.
Here’s my recent bad dream/nightmare…
In the dream, me and my mum went down the road to the local shop for some essentials, I’m very protective of her and myself because we’re both high risk due to our health problems, so we’re walking down the street, I’m guarding her to make sure no one gets near her, in case they have the virus. Then we get into the shop, there’s lots of people in there just hanging around and hanging around outside the shop, some were causing trouble. Then two school girls were getting near me and my mum on purpose, everyone knew the dangers regarding the virus, but still some people were coming up to me and my mum on purpose just to stand next to us. So these two girls were causing trouble saying they have the virus, I was shouting at them “get away from me and my mum or I’ll batter ya”, they wouldn’t listen, they were laughing, so I got so mad/angry I started beating them out the way, literally, I threw them both out the way as if they were rag dolls, that’s how angry I became, obviously my anger was out of pure fear, but displayed as anger. I even told the police I said these two girls are infecting people with the virus on purpose, the police didn’t listen. So I got them two girls out the way, literally… Then me and my mum left the shop and walked back up to our house, walking up the street. Then while walking up the street, one of the other people that was causing trouble at the shop, he followed me and my mum, I kept telling him he better not get near us, but he wouldn’t listen, he was saying he has the virus and was purposely getting close to me and my mum, he was harassing us, I got so scared so again just for pure fear it displayed as anger, so I dragged him back down the road, dragging him on the floor, down the road and I literally threw him in the middle of the busy road with cars coming and I said to him “ha ha see that will teach you a lesson”… Then I caught back up with my mum and we continued to walk up the street back home, then when we got to our front door, a neighbour said my cat has gone missing for hours, I was distraught, so me and my mum started shouting our cat’s name, I was distraught and crying, and then few minutes later our cat must have heard us shouting her and she just suddenly appeared in front of us, I was thinking “huh that’s weird, how did she just suddenly appear like that out of nowhere” I was laughing and so happy our cat was back…
So, that was my recent dream/nightmare, when I woke up, I still thought the dream was real.
I can’t imagine how other people are feeling, with their anxiety and fears and even nightmares about this pandemic.
I told my CPN (in Mersey Care) last week about this recent dream, he said he can understand totally, how my fears and anxieties cross over to my dreams. We had a long chat on the phone last week, as my appointments are by phone now obviously… due to this pandemic.
I stay indoors mostly, and my mum too, as we’re both high risk due to our health problems, except sometimes if my mum and I need to go out for shopping for essentials, because no one else to help us with that. If I have to get the bus to go the supermarket, I’m so paranoid and anxious, Just before lockdown came in place, I was out all day the day a few days before lockdown, I was on the bus, I felt suffocated, felt like I was going to have an anxiety attack, and I was saying to myself “I don’t want anyone to even breathe in my direction, I don’t want anyone to touch any surfaces, I don’t want anyone to get near me, I want everyone to hold their breath until they get off the bus”, that’s how paranoid I was feeling.
Be Safe Everyone ❤️
Regarding dreams in general, I’ve always been one to remember my dreams, I remember nearly all of my dreams, even from decades ago, in my teenage years I used to have a dream journal, I’d write my dreams down, daily. Many of my dreams are scary and when I wake up it takes me a while to realise that the dream wasn’t real. I suffer anxiety for decades, and Complex-PTSD and Borderline Personality Disorder. So I can understand how my real life anxieties, fears and worries do crossover to my dreams. Not all my dreams are scary, some are funny, weird, sometimes I’d wake up laughing, sometimes I’d wake up crying.
Mind With A View 