In a lifetime of suffering mental health problems, I’m at a stage, yet again, where I’m wanting to end it all. So, I’m feeling this way yet again, it’s been a long while since I’ve got to this stage of feeling the way I do recently (suicidal). I have felt like this so many times… Continue reading Unbearable
When I saw my CPN on Friday (26th), we spoke about a few specific things, and he helped me come up with a list of good memories to remember my partner Roger, because today (27th) is the anniversary of when Roger passed away, several years ago. My CPN is brilliant and so helpful, he knew… Continue reading Remember Good Times
In 2 months time it will be 6 years since I lost my partner Roger. But the thing is, the way my mind works confuses me. My mind still lives in this kinda fantasy / dream world, were I still believe my partner will come back alive (I know, strange huh), my mind has always… Continue reading Loyalty After Loss
On this date (28th Aug) it’s been exactly a year since I was last in hospital (I was sectioned)… The point is, I’m realising the difference from last year and this year. For example, last year I was in hospital 5 times (Clock View twice, Broadoak twice, and the Priory in Cheadle). The reason I… Continue reading This Time Last Year
So the past couple weeks, I’ve been thinking and decided to withdraw from services (Mersey Care) as when I’m not feeling right I make wrong decisions, so my latest decisions recently is to withdraw from services because I feel like a hassle, in the way, an inconvenience, things like that. So I’ll see how I… Continue reading Wrong Decisions As Usual
I’ve finally got around to writing about my stay in Broadoak unit. I was detained under the mental health act (section 2), so I was there for a month (28th Aug – 27th Sep). It’s the second time I’ve been at Broadoak, the first time was only for few days. I’ve already written a post… Continue reading My Stay In Broadoak
Just writing about my latest psychiatrist appointment / review (it was 20th Dec) and as always it went well, simply because my psychiatrist is very understanding. Also present was my CPN and someone from Mersey Care PALS team (patient advice liaison service). They’re always brilliant in supporting me, and usually attend my psychiatrist reviews. I… Continue reading Psychiatrist Review
So the past couple of weeks have been difficult for me, not really mentioned it to people apart from my psychiatrist a couple of days ago. The only few great things that’s happened recently is Mersey Care related (e.g I went to volunteer induction etc). That’s about it really, my positive feelings and uplifting mood… Continue reading Tough Times Ahead
I started psychotherapy 2 weeks ago, at Mersey Care psychotherapy department. I’ve had 2 sessions so far, and I’ve met the psychotherapist before earlier in the year I think it was, for assessments. So it helps when you’ve already met the person before and they already know a bit about you anyway, that was a… Continue reading Psychotherapy Sessions
I was just thinking, the importance of understanding, within the support one receives from e.g CPN, support worker, psychiatrist etc. My support is from Mersey Care NHS Foundation Trust… I have a CPN, a psychiatrist, and now also started psychotherapy… There are two things that are very important to me, one is understanding, and another… Continue reading Support & Understanding
Just thought I’d write about the day I was discharged from Broad Oak unit psychiatric hospital (27th Sep). I’ll write about my time in hospital, in a separate post. Anyway, before my being discharged, I had my review with the psychiatrist on the ward, also attended the review was someone from Mersey Care PALS (Patient… Continue reading Discharged From Hospital
Just a quick post. Wondering anyone who takes Lithium, what are their thoughts and importantly their feelings and effects ? My psychiatrist (he’s the best !) agreed with me to let me try Lithium soon, I’m quite anxious about it, I’ve never had Lithium before, but I discussed it with him to see what his… Continue reading Starting Lithium Soon
So, I had my usual psychotherapy group today (psycho-educational group), as every week, and I had to have a chat with the psychotherapist after the group as I can’t easily express myself within a group setting. I wasn’t actually going to attend the group today, but I did go obviously. I spoke a bit more than… Continue reading Psychotherapy Group
What makes me angry, when some people say about child abuse victims, things like why didn’t they speak out sooner, why didn’t they report things at the time, get over it and so on. The people who say such things, wouldn’t know how these people are feeling, how difficult it is, what is going through… Continue reading Child Abuse & BPD
So, I was in one of my crisis moments again. Haven’t been coping for a while. Wednesday (6th Apr) I was determined to get rid of myself. I went to the train station, went to the empty area of the platform on the end. Someone working there noticed my arm/wrist bleeding and realised why I… Continue reading Train Station & Broadoak
I had a psychiatrist appointment yesterday, long awaited, as I missed my previous appointment. This psychiatrist is the best… I didn’t really get along with my previous psychiatrist, I felt he didn’t understand me as much or how I was really feeling, and also the length of the appointment was not really adequate, a few… Continue reading Psychiatrist Appointment
I simply have to write how I’m feeling. The title of this post sums it up perfectly. There are so many things I have to deal with but I’m dealing with things alone. So, silently not coping, a clever title, but an awful reality for me, I know how I’m becoming again, and it scares… Continue reading Silently Not Coping Pt.2
I’ve just thought of the perfect saying to describe how I feel lately, it’s like I’m in “a room without a door”… I start my psychotherapy education group (Mersey Care) tomorrow morning, I’m not good in a group setting, I’m already shy with people and can’t mix with people, even 2 people is a crowd… Continue reading Room Without A Door
It’s been a few weeks of mixed feelings. I’ve been in contact with the police about something (click here for details of what the police case is about)… So, recently I gave them a bit more info for the case and the person in charge gave me an email address to send this info to… Continue reading Mixed Feelings Recently
What’s been happening the past few weeks. Well from the 20th Jan to 5th Feb, I was in a mental health facility (Clock View Hospital, Liverpool). I’ll just explain what lead up to this. January was becoming a difficult time for me, as I explained in my previous post “What’s On My Mind”, this was… Continue reading My Stay In Clock View
Mind With A View 